asktheboywholived:

(( OOC: I can understand how you might see it that way, but I need to point out what you said.

“-your own damn people.” 

This is where I must strongly disagree with you, and I’ll explain why.

The more you divide, the more you box people into categories, the more you segregate, the more you close yourself off to the world… the more you’ll hinder your own progress and damage your movement. 

Change requires unity. It requires the support of the majority, or it won’t happen. You cannot fight against a tidal wave coming at you. You need help from the opposing side… and you will never get them to listen or agree with you if all you do is shut them down, ignore their reasonings, and villainize and degrade them for not seeing the world the way you do. 

This does not help the situation. No one responds well to anger unless they already agree with you… but you need the people who don’t agree with you to come to a place of understanding if you want to see change happen.

We need to create an atmosphere of discussion, not contention. 

We need to be willing to ask and see WHY people feel the way they feel, so we can understand, and address it. We need to realize that people can still be good people, and that sometimes they just need to be informed. We need to be patient, because opinions are not changed overnight, and they certainly won’t change if all we do is tell them that they are bad, when that’s what they’ve grown up knowing, and that’s the world they have been presented.

I have seen more change happen, in my own personal life, from having calm, considerate and in depth conversations with the people around me, then I’ve seen from any aggressive attack. 

I have a very religious family. They don’t approve of my lifestyle… but they are very good people, and are very kind to me. They love me, but the way they were raised has left them ignorant on certain topics, and they’ve had a lifetime of reinforcement that’s lead to them feeling this way. That isn’t something that’s easily overcome. 

I once approached my cousin on the topic online, after she posted an article that made me incredibly upset concerning trans issues. When I responded, it didn’t go over well. I was aggressive in my approach, and it spiraled very quickly. 

I saw her in person at our next family get-together. I sat down with her, and we had a long, LONG conversation about the issue. I listened to her side, and how she felt about the topic, and because she expressed that with me I was able to understand where she was coming from, and see how she had come to that conclusion. I countered some of her points, providing her with my personal insights on the topic (all while keeping my wording very clear and compassionate)… and by the end of the conversation, she was agreeing with most of what I said.  

THAT is how you start to create change. But one conversation isn’t enough. 

I grew up very religious… I was anti-LGBT+ rights, because of my surroundings, what I had been taught by my environment, etc. I didn’t even realize I was bi until I left organized religion because I was so repressed… 

I would still be in that situation if my father, who left the church, had not expressed his beliefs with me. I would never have changed if he had not been respectful, and understanding, and loving while discussing those topics with me. He didn’t degrade me, he didn’t belittle me, he listened, and he responded, and he was empathetic. 

It took me THREE YEARS to deprogram from everything I had been taught about LGBT+ (and life in general)… and even then it took me years more until I could become completely comfortable in my own skin. But it happened… and I have healthy communication to thank for that. 

When both parties feel at ease, or at least feel that they are being respected and that their opinions are being taken into consideration, they will be far more likely to grow and expand in their viewpoints and become openminded. The second you approach it in a degrading, hateful, or elitist way, they will shut down, and no progress will be made. 

That is an entirely different fight, and it won’t be won through hate and aggression, or shutting yourself off to hearing different opinions or view points.

It won’t be won from making “camps” or “groups” or, as you put it, “your own people”… they can be there to support, you can create amazing bonds from going through similar experiences… but don’t limit yourself to only associating with one group of people. This often leads to pack mentality, which can prevent people from really thinking for themselves and analyzing situations thoroughly. More often than not, it leads to people simply agreeing with the group because that is where they feel safe… and we’ve seen the terrible results of that in everything from politics to religion to goddam high school cliques. 

It’s not a healthy mentality.   

We have to start creating an environment of open discussion, where people feel they can express themselves without being torn to shreds… or we’ll fester in our ignorance out of spite or fear. If you tear others down, they will fight against you with everything they have. 

So yes… look at both sides of the argument, see the validity that is usually there on both sides, see the reasoning, and stop thinking that your world view is the only right world view, because in some instances, you might be wrong and have something to learn from the other person.

Keep conversations open, keep yourself open, and put empathy first. ))